Tending the body

I signed up for Weight Watchers last week, but didn’t get around to attending my first meeting until this past Sunday. In the past when I’ve done WW, I’ve only done it online. I generally hate people and I am always worried that I’ll be the youngest or the fattest or the whatever-est at these things. I was particularly hesitant because this meeting was in Bethesda. Bethesda is the land of the wealthy and upper middle class. The land of people who drive Mercedes, have nannies, and vacation homes. I have none of those things and probably never will. So, I was afraid that I’d be in a room of 40 something overachievers who were concerned about losing 10 lbs.

Luckily, the meeting was nothing like that. It was actually fun and nice. It had a good variety of people of all ages, genders, shapes, and sizes. I probably was one of the largest people there, but not so large that I looked like the odd woman out. It was a good experience.

I weighed about what I thought I would. Seeing it in writing though makes it more real. But, I know that I have to get myself healthier to make myself and my family happier.

I brought home all of my materials and started chatting to Diego about them. He was actually really interested in the process and still asks me occasional questions about “can you eat that” or “what do you eat”. And I tell him that I can eat anything I want, I just have to account for it and work around it. It sounds so simple but yet so freeing at the same time.

I can eat whatever I want; I just have to make trade offs later that day or later that week to account for it.

It helps that I have an absurdly high number of points right now because I’m so heavy. Last night I actually had to make a sandwich with white bread and real mayo to make up some points so I wasn’t left with 10 pts at the end of the day. And man, that sandwich was good!

Doing this tracking is making more aware of what I’m putting in my mouth. Today, I feel happy that I’m on this program. I feel in control, and I haven’t felt in control of much lately. Maybe that’s why my mood has improved a lot since I’ve started this blog. I’m not just sitting around, letting life push me around. I’m taking charge, setting goals, taking CONTROL of the situation.

Now, I know that I can’t control much in my life. So many things are left up to change and circumstance and yes, even G-d, but it’s nice to feel that I can control one or two things in my life. Maybe that’s what my overarching theme of this year should be: controlling what can be controlled, and accepting what cannot be controlled.